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Broken Crystal

 

 

Broken Crystal

When crystal breaks the pieces never marry again they lose their luster borders forever. It is just fire that recasts and transforms them into another shape or size but it never recovers its pristine beauty, remaining into pieces of scattered suffering.

 Aliama Narval

 

Her sixteen’s were jubilant, she was applauded by all who met her. She loved dancing and singing.  Used to be the center of people´s attention she was also particularly kind; she really cared about people which caused deep concern in her, putting her parents in a bad mood. She was transparent, bright as polished like crystal.


The man appeared one afternoon to greet people in the drawing living room where the cartoonists worked making the titles and the drawing for the TV shows and where she usually spent her time reading or studying.  His colleagues presented him to her, she did not give any importance to his arrival, he man was a person of the many that were in the office  each day. Nothing special caught her attention.


The presence of the new person became regular, even in the case of a place where so many people moved no one was surprised or curious about him.


He began to match the time of her departure, with increasing frequency. He talked animatedly, and had an  interesting way of speaking.

 

As far as she knew the young man was a journalist, and he was twenty-five years old that from her sixteen, away from the people of her age, looked so interesting, especially since the man did not seem to want anything special from her.

 
A day with another and another, for months, sparked her interest and gradually unwittingly began to allow certain intimacy that was being born into another world of sensations.


Time passed and the young teenager began to feel something different and new, fascinating too, something that she could not name. She did not tell to anyone, it was her new treasure, the discovery of unexpected feelings.


She used to look forward to the dark moments in that gallery of the University where she felt  she had a new boyfriend, a real one. She was excited and thought   he was quickly being presented to her parents

 


They were to go to the cinema early, at the first session; although it was Sunday she was due at six in their daily commitment to her work and could not fail.


The heat was stifling, that afternoon, they met near the cinema, was soon to go to the movies, his friend asked her  to accompany him to his  father's office to get some papers he needed for his job.


She accompanied him confident and cheerful. They went into the office, told solicitous "sit and take off your jacket, we have time." He walked into the office, caught some papers, and took something out. Looking  at his watch he  said, "it is still early." 

 

At that moment of peace and shadow she smiled. He approached and kissed her, she tried to get up "It's time!" said trying to break the intimacy, then he changed his tone: unless.... She got nervous and said, "no, no come on let´s go to movies!”. He pulled her violently, grabbed her by the hair, almost broke her neck.  She squirmed, trying to escape, fought back fiercely, shouting. Suddenly felt like strand of her hair appeared to be trapped in the hands of her aggressor. She could not believe it and  tried hard to escape but he hooked her  again by the hair. 

 

Then he mokeded saying there was no one in the building.

“Scream all you want”, he said while attempting to force her, with unprecedented violence, she fought with all her strength to bear the pain.

 

Suddenly he stopped and walked away. She asked him for the garment he had managed to tear out.

He said, "no". She turned around trying to find some piece of furniture for protection. She could not think, was sore, trembling like a leaf and did not know what else to do. 

Everything seemed to calm down, she again asked his pledge. The man looked  at her with deep scorn. She turned away, crying folded, at the time, taking  advantage of his weakness he rushed  brutally pushing her down; as she fell forward,  felt a huge pain that paralyzed her. The attakerr had committed his crime in a way that she could not even have suspected. She knew nothing of neighboring practices. The girl believed in love, her parents were the example, She believed in respect and kindness, believed that sex was generosity and mutual satisfaction.


The world became a deep dark tunnel to nowhere.  She felt an indescribable dismay, a dreadful pain and fear for her life.


The assailant got into the small toilet  in the office, insulting  and  talking nervously . He said he admitted the ferocity with which  she had defended her virginity. "But" he added contemptuously,"" what had happened was also penetration, after thatdo you still feel as a virgin ".


She did not understand the monstrous transformation of who she believed, her boyfriend. She plucked up courage and said, "Now that you've finished your plan, give me my clothes" He made a gesture of disgust and theatrically threw the  tattered garment.  

 

She took it without a word and tried to leave but the door was locked,

 

 "Open the door, please," demanded more than asked. 

 

He opened and moved away from the door. She stood before leaving, looked into his  eyes with all the intensity of her grief and asked: why?


 There was no answer, but the look of his victim make him feel so worried.

 

She ran, with her head full of bruises. She ached the entire struggle, felt a deep wound inside. Her virginity, as it was understood at that time was  intact, anyway  she had been brutally assaulted.


The teenager felt the terrible blow that had caused her attacker.

Steeling herself, dried her tears and breathed. Used what she had on hand to stop the bleeding. Fixed a little while down, put on her dark glasses and begging not to show her grieve, walked away from the building site.


She did not know how to stop the rush of thoughts that plagued her. She could not go to the hospital. Her parents, though unconditional, would forgive her to have hidden that  relationship and certainly they  would never understand why she had gone to  that office. Moreover she feared the reaction of her father  against her  attacker; the police, she was afraid of the tremendous scandal trial. She felt fatigue, was completely decomposed, broken with pain. She decided to keep quiet and not tell anyone. She thought it was better that anyone   knew it. Fortunately the bleeding did not last long. 

 

She went into her job with her usual smile, walked into the bathroom and cried in desperation, went to makeup and argued that she was suffering from a bit of conjunctivitis. Nobody seemed to notice her pain.


The days were hell of physical pain and desolation, there was no way to understand. Her attacker was gone and not seen again, he hid well. She erased her name and assumed  her mistake sure that life would take care of the rest. Although not filled with hate, she was never again who she used to be.


The criminal always returns to the crime scene, the assailant reappeared a few

months later, with a triumphant smile that was immediately frozen buy her glance, he felt safe because she had not betrayed. 

 

She thought she could not resist his presence and promised to tell everyone what had happened if I went back to see out there, the offender apparently caught her determination and tried not to meet again

.
Before marrying at age 20 the young woman thought  her husband had to know that she had suffered an attack that had damaged  her even physically and asked him to keep the secret.

 

 Her future husband hosted the confidence with caring attitude and insisted that she was not guilty of the man's sick attitude. This allowed her to forgive the man trusting the Universe Law.

 
 Now, many years after, at her thirties everything returned to her mind. She had just caught his 9 year old boy by the hair, had hurt her son what she thought was the reminiscence of the violence rampant in her subconscious, as if, despite not usually remember the assault, it always lived, hence, profoundly affecting her decisions forever.

 

She hugged her son and apologized for pulling his hair with such violence but nevertheless, She could not tell her boy from which part of her arose as incomprehensible attitude. She could not tell his little son that she knew very well the pain of that violence.


Many times after this time felt the bitterness of aggression and wondered if that broke her life, if fear is what had marked all her relationships since.

 

 Mistakes were forever, she was conscious of that and although there was not a little good memory about the fact, and  it was just a frustrated relationship, a barren project, dark and sinister.

 

Someone apparently beautiful was revealed as a sinister dirty piece of humanityprojecting its hideous face in her clean and loving universe, bringing uncertainty to his house forever.  She now knows that the perpetrator is also a victim of his brutality, incapable of loving and ill-minded, that is why, there is no hatred in her heart that just feels cold and empty when  remembers. She still with ugly scars, many years later, can only love beauty and it is beauty what she convokes, every day, from the smiles on her face of a grandmother.

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